I have succeeded, yet again, at addiction: I have gotten myself well and thoroughly hooked on Sim City: BuildIt, which is an evil little game you can play on your phone, although I think you would have to have better eyesight than me to do that, or you can, alas for me, play on a tablet like the iPad I share with young Miles. This Sim City is slightly different than the one I was addicted to back in the 90s when computer games were oh so new and all, but it’s similar enough that I fell instantly into building obsessively. It’s one helluva game: just like life: there is never enough money to do the stuff you want and when you inevitably fail, everyone hates you! No wonder it’s so addictive! It is, however, even more evil: it’s “free” to “purchase” but like those other masters of addiction Candy Crush or Bubble Witch, they want you to buy stuff in game. Like, I could spend real money to buy simulated money for my simulated town, thus getting my citizens to love me, or I could, you know, spend real money on my real house, thus getting, well, at least the dogs to love me. But fuck that! Fuck, also, spending money in game. I don’t mind paying for a game I want – that seems only fair – but I don’t like being hit up sneakily. So I refuse to do that and that is why my Sims are not all that happy and why, I suspect, I never got to level 400 in Candy Crush. Also, a school costs like 60,000 simoleons and so far I have never amassed more than 16,000 before I give in to their anguished cries and get them something like a police station. The Sims are strangely pro cop but meanwhile, see, in Minecraft I’m building a tower so I can find my way back to the donkeys after I go back to my other house in the village that I’m fixing up to get the saddle I left there. And I’m playing, as usual, pacifist vegan Minecraft, which makes it considerably more difficult because, damn, it sucks to follow cows around waiting for them to fall into lava so you can get some leather to bind a stupid damn book.
Today in a singular feat of procrastination I managed to spend several hours playing TWO video games at once: Minecraft, my old love, on the desktop and Sim City on the iPad. Both of them have day / night cycles so if you time it right, you can never look away from one screen or another. Meanwhile, my house crumbles about me and tumbleweeds of dog hair roll through the living room. Ah, how technology has improved our lives.
Tomorrow night I’m going to see Die Antwoord!!! I will have more beer spilled on me and become terrified by the magic bouncing Orange Peel floor! Big fun! I am totally psyched. It will be weird and weird is good.