Not Bad for An Old Broad

2015-05-03 17.04.35Today is my birthday – yeah, yeah, I know, the fourth is always with me, look, my birthday didn’t used to be so annoying until some genius came up with that Star Wars thing about five years ago – but despite that it has been a lovely day and here I am – as of last night actually – wearing the oh so fabulous sunglasses and earrings that my daughter gave me. Not bad, I think, for an old broad, which is something my father used to say after smacking my mother on the bum. Gently, I mean, gently but with gusto, as it were, and then he would say NOT BAD FOR AN OLD BROAD. And right now I agree, because a) I have engaged in gigandorly self esteem building activities over the last couple of days and b) there has been an outpouring of birthday love that has left me all verklampt.

And, on top of that, a Carolina wren has built a nest in that urn that you can see in the picture behind me, the one with the artificial flowers in it. In this nest are five lovely speckled purple eggs, all wrapped around with artificial leaves and some glittery bits & pieces from off my porch – you can often find glittery bits and pieces and pom poms on my porch – and that is pretty damn cool too.

Self esteem building! Yesterday I went to the herb fair at the farmers market with Jodi, came home and proceeded to get the whole garden going, which is to say I dug up and weeded all the raised beds, weeded and tilled the front flower bed, weeded most of the roses and planted all the seedlings and the beans. My butt hurts. However, not as bad as it could have because yesterday, I discovered earbuds. Full disclosure: I had never used earphones (headphones, earbuds, whatever you want to call them) before. No. I am a weirdo. I heard some radio thing and read an article  about how they would destroy your children’s tender eardrums when I was in my early impressionable teens and I never used them or allowed my children to use them. Yes, okay, a weird hill to die on but it was mine own. So it was very exciting for me to get some from my son, put them in my phone and then get Amazon music up and running. Just in case you are unaware, Amazon music does or did this thing whereby they will keep a digital copy of any CD you ever bought from them in perpetuity right there in their Amazony cloud. Which is why I did my gardening rocking out to Dead Prez and the Roches Christmas album. You haven’t lived until you have gotten suddenly hit with A Child Is Born while under the rosebushes in May. But the garden looks AMAZING. And then Audrey and Celeste and Jodi and Jay came by and we drank wine on the porch, discovered the birds nest, ate squash casserole and it was thoroughly wonderful.

Today, which was my actual birthday, I tore out the carpet in the hallway and painted the stairs white.

No, really, I did that. See, my friend the realtor came over a couple of weeks ago and gave me the bad news: yeah, despite living in one of the hottest real estate neighborhoods in the country, my house STILL sucks and I cannot get giant piles of moolah for it. It is just not all that. Boo. I have been sulking ever since but also it has sort of woken me up: if I have to live here for the rest of my life then fuck it, I am going to finally do all the things I said I would do when I moved in seven – 7! – years ago. Thus, I did those two things and soon I will do more. I even bought a book – this book, it is a big bestseller right now and I am a sucker – on decluttering and I’m all on that too (although clutter is not really my problem so much as just basic disgusting grime, glah.)

And then after showering and hanging out briefly with the Queen of Bohemia, who handsomely invited me to take anything I wanted from her house for my birthday (I declined although tempted by the super fabulous Indonesian jacket she has dug up from somewhere and been wearing lately) I met some friends for drinks at the DeSoto and then went with my kids, Jodi and Charles for Korean food at Korea House downtown. I had never had Korean food before and it was delicious and all in all a very very fun night with lots of Vinho Verde and I didn’t fall down despite wearing my once a year fancy high heel shoes. Plus lots of people have called and texted and so it would seem that everyone doesn’t hate me after all, although I cannot imagine why. Probably they should. But I am very glad that they don’t, and also deliciously full.

Anyway, it has been a great birthday weekend. I am sore, I am beat, I am probably dying from horrible weird ass 70s carpet dust inhalation, but my hallway looks GOOD, my garden looks GOOD and my stairs look GOOD.

Like me, the old broad.

Happy birthday to you too – and thank you for the birthday thoughts!

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