I Am Still Alive

Yes, you can still find me among the living, as you could probably have grasped from my instagram account although, hell, that could be a bot. I could be a bot for that matter and occasionally I think it wouldn’t be such a bad half life.
Anyway, I have been busy with the usual crap: work and sleep and helping my friend Susan dispose of all her worldly possessions and flee the country. That has been rather a larger job than anyone quite grasped but I have maneuvered well and am now the proud owner of a blue leather couch, a bread machine, some broken tiles for mosaics, a box of lightbulbs, a wizards hat, some windchimes I can’t find in the kerfuffle and a black armoire thingy. Oh and a scattergories game. In other words I showed up at the end of the yard sale, got disgracefully drunk and took whatever I could snag.

Well, that’s the kind of thing the One Armed Woman does, because no, the shoulder isn’t better. I am attempting now to use it as an opportunity for spiritual growth and adopt an alter ego / super identity: the One Armed Woman. She is considerably tougher than me and grasps the moment like a good ersatz Buddhist warrior monkette. Today, the moment was in the dentists chair, where I learned that the old adage regarding atheists and foxholes applies equally well to dental offices. I am not sure who, exactly, I believe in, but I prayed. It occurred to me that the kind of terrified freaked out total concentration induced by dental procedures would probably add some oomph to my prayers and besides, alternating between the rosary and the face of Buddha almost – almost – keeps one’s mind off that terrible scraping, pinging, pointy thing that is plying freely in one’s mouth oh god.

So I prayed and how. Yup, I prayed that it would cost less than I thought it was going to and also that I wouldn’t die right there and also that it would eventually end and LO these things happened. I prayed for some other stuff too but I’m not gonna jinx it by telling what it is, mostly. One of the things I was praying for though during the materialistic Buddhist prayer part (2 hours lends itself to a variety of prayer types) nom yo ho renge kyo was that Miles would get a more comfortable bed. Therefore as soon as I discovered to my astonished joy that it wasn’t going to cost as much as I thought I went to mall wart. I got him a memory foam bed topper and you would think that now we’d all be signing up for vacation bible school as a result but no.

It doesn’t fit and he was unenthused so I am unfairly irked with my various deities because now I have to go back to the South Asheville mall wart and return it, gah. Also my teeth and my shoulder hurt like fire so I’m agnostic again. But alive.

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