OKAY. I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING WITH WORDPRESS FOR TWO FUCKING DAYS NOW TRYING TO GET THIS BASICALLY INNOCUOUS, ESSENTIALLY NOT ALL THAT GREAT FUCKING GODDAMN POST PUBLISHED AND IT WILL NOT, REPEAT, WILL NOT FUCKING DO IT. IT KEEPS INSERTING TABLES AND GOD THE FUCK ONLY KNOWS WHAT AND I AM FUCKING FURIOUS. THIS IS ABOUT THE SEVENTEENTH TIME I HAVE HIT PUBLISH AND THEN I COME BACK A DAY LATER AND LO! WAS IT PUBLISHED? HELL FUCKING NO. I AM GOING BACK TO FUCKING BLOGGER.
NOW I’M GOING TO ADD THE FUCKING PICTURES. WATCH THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING GO TO HELL NOW.
So spring has pretty much sprung and it is time again for the yearly obligatory picture of daffodils with all the color except the flowers shopped out. Clever! Daring! Unique! Yeah, okay, sometimes I go for cliches too. Why should I be different? I must say I am surprisingly spring positive this year, given that I don’t really like hot weather, happy people, blue skies or, gods forbid, that awful yearly ritual known as spring forward. I am allergic to cute, which is probably why sitting through the last 40 minutes of some horrifying Shirley Temple opus last night with my auntie was so painful. Or, well, it could have been because in the past 75 years Shirley Temple has made the great transition from adorably cute to atrociously creepy.
I mean, it was creepy. A little girl sitting on some random dude’s lap and lisping away does not look sweet to my jaded 21st century eyes and calling a Caucasian child Ching Ching while she quotes fake “Confucian” wisdom from some evil 1930 jokebook is cringe inducingly racist. I mean, ugh. Oh well. I cracked jokes and that made Annie laugh and laugh, so all good. It’s her childhood and I suppose by the time I’m 85 Scooby Doo will creep the hell out of my grandchildren. I am beginning to develop a theory that it just takes a certain amount of time before everything – clothes, beloved media figures, food – becomes creepy and offputting. The past! It’s creepy!
AND I HAD WRITTEN A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER STUFF THAT WAS PUBLISHED LAST NIGHT ONLY TO HAVE COMPLETELY FUCKING VANISHED BY TONIGHT. SO YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT THE HELL THESE PICTURES ARE BECAUSE I NO LONGER FUCKING REMEMBER AND ANYWAY I DON’T CARE ANY MORE THAN YOU DO.