Early Morning Dogs

Early Morning Dogs

It’s good when you can get the photo of the day out of the way before you even get out of bed. Actually, I think the instagrammed shot is the one I’m going to call the Official Photo of the Day – don’t you just love that? isn’t that impressive, the capital letters and all? Because it so matters which one is Official. – because it is just a little bit more interesting, but this one is pretty sweet as well. Well, for certain values of sweet: there are worse ways to wake up than being intently stared into consciousness, but then there are better ones as well, like one in which a handsome scantily clad man brings you delicious breakfast on a tray. Or so I would think, never having experienced the second* except in the pages of a bad romance novel. Well, it would have to be a little better anyway, as probably he would not howl the way Django is wont to do when he sees my eyes open. Django likes to howl, because we have in the past made the fatal mistake of laughing when he did it, and so of course now it is one of his favorite things, particularly when he’s hungry, which is to say, always. And it does wake you up.

Okra would like me to point out at this juncture that she also is part of the wake up crew and she is, oh man, she is. Nobody stares like Okra. You have not been stared at until you have been stared at by a cat who feels that it’s time for breakfast. Theo helps too, but I didn’t get a picture of him.

I used to get up and walk the dogs every morning but I had to give that up – laziness won out. Well, a combination of laziness, the changing New Asheville ** and the fact that walking three dogs, with or without leashes, is actually a total drag. I had never had three dogs before and I tell you, while I love all three of them, I will never again have three dogs. One dog is great; two dogs can be even greater, but three dogs? No, it’s a pack and they outnumber your hands so until they perfect Hindu deity inspired extra hand implants, I recommend sticking to the two or one dog model.

* Hi there, ex who is reading this and swears he brought me breakfast on a tray that one time that I have forgotten. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you brought me breakfast and I totally forgot that it ever happened. You were a prince among men and I was an idiot to ever let you go. Actually if you’re who I think you are, you did bring me breakfast once or twice but it doesn’t count because a) there were literal piles of children involved and b) due in part to the active participation of said children, everything was cold and gruesome or just damn strange. Also you were not scantily clad, which was smart, because it was always fucking freezing in that house but, you know, in romance novels they never wear gray sweats from K Mart.

** In New Asheville, it is worth your life to let your dog run around off leash even at 6:30 in the morning way in the illegal parts of the park because there WILL be self righteous people there to tell you that this is Wrong and you are Bad for a variety of reasons. Also, the illegal parts of the parks keep on getting legal and then they immediately fill up with the aforementioned Healthy Outdoorsy self righteous types. Used to be that there was nobody in the parks early in the morning except me, my dogs, my camera and a few serious degenerates doing serious degenerate stuff and we all got along fine. Now, though, forget it.


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