Another Day, Another Instagram of Dog

Here’s today’s picture, Theo, looking as he always does in photos: elegant, beautiful, calm and not even remotely neurotic. Turns out you don’t even need photoshop for pictures to lie like rugs! Theo is the most annoying dog we have, and when you consider that one of our dogs not only eats all the socks in the house and buries shoes but has to have special food cooked for him on a weekly basis, you begin to grasp just how annoying Theo is. In fact, Theo is so annoying that even though he more or less saved all our lives the other day by barking when the kitchen began to fill up with gas, I just yelled SHUT UP THEO and then went about turning off the gas. “Oh uh thanks I guess,” I may have muttered. “Good dog, OK.” Or maybe not. He’s annoying and I’m fucking evil these days since I got old and embraced my dark side even more wholeheartedly than I used to. Also, I’ve been working retail for going on three years now. That shit will sour the milk of human kindness right out of you.

Dropbox is still not working very well and so there still is no picture from yesterday. It is not the only thing that isn’t working fantastically: I spent basically the entire morning in Snapfish live chat with a variety of people with highly improbable names, like, I think possibly they mixed up the captcha software and the chat window naming thing. I am trying to make a calendar, just one calendar, before Wednesday when the 50% off coupon expires and I am not having much luck. The help people are not. Helpful, that is. There is not much, really, that can make me start to froth at the mouth and grind my teeth like being told to a) delete my cookies and b) restart my computer and c) it’s because you’re using Chrome instead of Firefox. “I’M USING CHROME BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME HALF AN HOUR AGO THAT THE PROBLEM WAS FIREFOX, MTZXLLPPKK!” Bastards. They have no idea what’s going on and neither do I, but I have a brand spanking new installation of Chrome and a new version of Flash player, so, yay? But no calendar and I need a calendar, a paper old school calendar so I can write down the dates the bills are due for my children to ignore.

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